A Friendly Warning

Hey guys, long time no talk!

(Just letting you know, I wrote this a long time ago, so keep that in mindJ)

                This weekend, I went home for an event at my old high school that tons of alumni go to. I was so excited to see all my friends that were coming home and to be doing something with my sister. I was just really looking forward to it! Then, on Thursday night, I was having a talk with one of my best friends from home who conveniently goes to the same college (it’s always nice to have at least one….you know, girl emergencies and such) and she was really upset that I was going home for this event that we knew my ex would be at. She said even though there was only a small chance of a direct run-in, I had made so much progress since we broke up (after 2 years together, in case you didn’t know). She also didn’t want me to look like “pathetic ex-girlfriend running around the old high school,” but I could care less about that.

                All night, I could not figure out what my friend meant. Did she think that although I’m not totally over it, I would regress back to being a total basket-case? That I would go back to changing the radio station every time any type of love song came on? That would go back to posting everything I did on Facebook to show him how “happy” I am and how great my life is? Well, I still sort of do that, let’s be honest. But really, does she think I’m that weak? Ladies and gents, I now know EXACTLY what she meant. The hole is back in my chest, the sinking feeling back in my stomach, the choking sadness back in my throat. Just from seeing him…and him not even acknowledging me. Awkward encounter is one thing, this was a whole new kind of hurt.

                When you think of 2 months after a break up, you picture someone moving on with their life, or even someone who’s perfectly okay when they reflect on their relationship, even someone who’s friends with their ex. I have realized that I am nowhere near this stage. Why does it feel like in the ending of relationships, I’m the only person who can’t let go?

Massive Uploading!

Hey everyone! With schoolwork and everything, I've gotten pretty behind, but prepare yourselves for a major comeback...
Love and Peace,
Emmy

Identity Crisis!

New York City, the fashion capital of the world. The kind of place where you have to make even your comfiest outfits cute or you feel self-conscious. Whether your style is chic and fashion-forward or relaxed and edgy, New York City seems to have a whole lot of people who seem to have the same unique vision that you do. Even living in a small town I noticed this becoming a problem: no matter how different your “you” style was, you would see other individuals who looked as if they were going for the exact same vibe. My question is this: how do we remain a one-of-a-kind when everything different about us is becoming mainstream?

                I don’t know about you guys, but I always considered my personality and my interests as slightly quirky. I tend to be a combo of hipster, nerdy and fashionista. It works somehow, I swear. Anyway, I enjoy videogames, both old and under-appreciated music, records, Disney and superheroes (I tend to be more of a Marvel girl as well). On top of this, I somehow also tend to enjoy the more mainstream girly things, including makeup, fashion and the classic Audrey Hepurn. These have obviously been interests that have developed throughout my entire life. Do any of these things sound familiar? It seems like all of these special topics that I thought made my interests unique have become mainstream in every way possible. In other words, what I’m finding now is that a huge challenge is facing all of us: being different is now considered generic. I’m therefore finding it even more difficult to attempt to be original, seeing as the majority of my interests have become mainstream phenomena. Everything we thought we knew about “hipster style,” “boho,” “superhero nerds” and “cute girls who secretly like videogames” is disappearing into mainstream concepts.

                So here’s an even bigger question: what do we do now? After a long and thorough thought process before posting this article, I finally came to a concrete conclusion: Screw it! If everything we do in an attempt to be different is getting classified as mainstream, then who cares about labels? I say dress how you want, be interested in what you want, do what every person should be aiming to do with their style. This way, whatever makes you the happiest and brings you the most joy is going to become your “style.” I’m pretty sure that’s how most types of styles were created in the first place! Instead of trying to fit into an existing type of style or a combo of different styles in an attempt to avoid being mainstream, just take all of your favorite things and combine them to make your own style, a new style. And if anyone calls you mainstream for what you enjoy, then who cares? If it’s a part of your style, then there’s a reason why you love it.

Peace and love,
Emmy

Apples and Oranges

Hello again!

                If there are any of you that don’t read my personal blog, although you totally should (shameless plug), there’s something you should know before I proceed: I want to be an actress. Not very practical, but it’s what I love and am going to school for, and it’s what sparked this post in the first place. With that being said, everyone knows how cut-throat the acting business is and how greatly your looks play into your success. Without going too far into the depths of my confidence issues, I have always wondered whether I was pretty enough to be a professional actress or if people would just laugh at me for thinking people would actually want to look at me in  T.V show or movie. Naturally, I then began comparing myself to celebrities that are gorgeous and have obviously been extremely successful in the business (as many of us tend to do). Suddenly, an idea hit me: why? Why do all girls want to be beautiful like celebrities? Why is this our goal and how did we start comparing ourselves to women who we have never even met?

                What do we do to look more like these females that we idolize? We go on insane diet or exercise programs, we change our makeup and our hair, our clothes, and it consumes use to the point that we eventually crave their lifestyle and everything that they have. And of course, we become depressed when we see that we can never have any of it. As a part of my recent realization, I asked “why” once more because, as we tend to forget, they’re just people like you and me.

                Another thing that we tend to forget about celebrities is what their money and connections yield for them: such as personal trainers, stylists and photoshop, just to name a few. All of this is to ensure that everything that we see is flawless, which we then mistake as always being real. They’re not actually “perfect” people, so why strive to be just like another person that is merely our equal? Celebrities get famous for being unique or special in some way, which tells us that we should be embracing our own quirks instead of trying to capture and repeat someone else’s!

                In short, why compare yourself to another person when you’re completely different? It will only cause discouragement and disappointment for basically no reason whatsoever. What I suggest is to turn our obsessions that we are constantly comparing ourselves to into inspirations by embracing the aspects that we can learn from them to improve our lives in some way. For instance, I LOVE Audrey Hepburn, but instead of focusing on how skinny she is and how I will never be able to achieve that look, I can watch how natural and believable her acting is and use it to help me grow. You can do this with music, dancing, modeling- learn from these people without constantly comparing your appearance to theirs. This mindset is difficult at first because of today’s media, but it feels so good and rewarding once you get the hang of it! Comment about some of your icons and how you learned from them!

Peace and love!

Emmy  

More Like "Abecrombie and Bitch!"

Hello all,

                I have a whole list of things that I’ve been wanting to write about and just have not gotten around to it, so just bear with me, because a few of my topics are going to backtrack a little bit…like this one! This is a very sensitive topic, so I would value anything any of you beautiful people have to say about it.

                One topic in the media that actually got a genuinely real reaction from me was the whole “Abercrombie and Fitch” situation. You know, the one in which the president of the company (or something like that) essentially said that he didn’t want larger people wearing their clothes because he doesn’t want “those types of people” representing their brand? I have only one thing to say to this….are you freaking joking??? Talk about isolating clientele!

                First of all, this is really concerning to me because in today’s society, young teenagers don’t need to be pressured about their bodies any more than they already are by the media. And who are basically the only people you know that buy and wear Abercrombie and Fitch clothing? Middle and high schoolers. It just so happens that this is also when body image issues arise and are the most intense! Trying to shop at a store so you can fit in at school and then being told that they don’t have your size because they don’t want larger people representing their brand would be absolutely devastating to a 13 or 14 year old. In addition, they only sell XL sizes in men’s shirts (for more muscular men), but they don’t carry any at all for women. One word: sexist. And we all know how small those clothes run. If anything, they’re just cutting down the number of customers that could purchase their clothing. How much sense does that make?

                Let’s also keep in mind that all of this bullcrap is on top of them only hiring the equivalent of super models to work in their stores. Trust me, I get it. Your looks are almost always a part of your job, or at least to a certain point. I don’t know about you, but the only thing that it does for me is make me feel like shit whenever I go in there! And not in a “I want to buy your clothes so I can look more like her” kind of way. I know they’re not the only store that does this, but it’s why I choose not to even go into Hollister or Gilly Hicks either.

                My main question is: Since when can a store tell us, paying customers, whether or not we can wear their clothing based on our body type? What does it say about our country that, knowing this, people still shop there and their stores are thriving? It saddens me that a store’s “image” can dictate which customers are good enough to purchase their products. Please let me know of your opinions about this. Being a somewhat larger girl all my life, I know I feel personally offended by this on so many levels. Anyway, feel free to talk to me!

Is Less Really More?- The True Makeup Story

Hey everyone!

                I know it’s been a while- I've been on a crazy summer job search for the last few weeks (which I will talk about later), but I've also been spending tons of time with my best friends who are all home from college, too. Seeing as most of them are females and absolutely all of them are stunningly beautiful (I’m not even exaggerating- every. Single. One), I've been thinking a lot about the topic of makeup and I was really interested in what you guys had to say. Makeup: is less really more?

                For years, I've been going back and forth in my daily makeup routine between rocking the “naturally beautiful” look, and just going with what I've always done without concern about it being obvious that I’m wearing makeup. Believe me, there is a HUGE difference between the two. I usually wake up one day and realize that I am not one of those girls that can pull off the “hardly there” makeup look and go back to my old layering on eyeliner days.

                However, the conflict comes into play when I see my friends (as I said, completely beautiful) that either have no makeup on or extremely minimal makeup and, of course, look great and still get attention. To be perfectly honest, when I don’t have eyeliner on, I feel like I look like a turd, but on the other hand, it really doesn't look natural at all and makes it very obvious that you have makeup on. I feel like other girls who are big on makeup must feel this way about certain products as well.

                Now, the conflict intensifies even further when male opinions come into play. Men always seem to say that they prefer women who are naturally beautiful or who don’t need to wear a lot of makeup to look good. For those of us who aren't naturally all that gorgeous, this makes us automatically resort to the phrase “forever alone” and gives us the urge to purchase at least two cats in a single pet store visit. But, let us remember the most popular ideal women in men’s eyes: Kim Kardashian, Megan Fox, and even Marilyn Monroe. Yes, they are also pursued for their bodies, but are these women considered “natural?” Not at all. Well, not to us ladies, anyway, who know that they have professional makeup artists, stylists and hair stylists that use an endless supply of products on the every time they leave the house. And then there’s also the fact that if you’re in any kind of semi-serious relationship, the person you’re with is going to see you makeup-less at some point anyway! Do you really want them to be shocked? That sounds too awkward to even imagine. I would really love to hear any of your opinions on this issue, seeing as I keep flopping back and forth on mine! Thanks!

Peace and love, 

Emmy

Be Your Own Leading Lady

Hello Readers!

     I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post, but I didn't want to write about something boring just for the sake of writing something, so an idea finally hit me and I'm interested to hear your thoughts!

     My inspiration for this post came from the movie "The Holiday," starring Kate Winslet (aka the love of my life), Jack Black, Cameron Diaz and Jude Law. Now, if you haven't seen this movie, don't panic, I will get you up to speed. Also, you should definitely watch it. Just saying.
     Anyway, "The Holiday" is about a woman living in England named Iris (Winslet) who wants to go on a vacation as far away as possible for Christmas because her boss, Jasper (who she dated, who cheated on her, who she continues to do favors for and who she's still in love with) just announced his engagement. Amanda Woods (Diaz) is an emotionless woman working on film trailers in Los Angeles who breaks up with her cheating boyfriend and also wants a distant vacation away from all men. These women end up meeting online and agree to trade houses/lives for two weeks. They each meet a local man, fall in love, blah blah blah....
     Soooo, when Iris tells her new retired director neighbor, Arthur, about her experiences with Jasper, he tells her that she's been acting like a supporting character when he can tell that she's meant to be the leading lady. Obviously, Kate is a leading lady, but this still got me thinking (because of course, I always think of real life in "acting" terms). This really seems like such a simple concept, but many of us go about our lives never even thinking about it. As the girl who has always been known as "the loyal friend," "the wing woman," "the confidant," I began to wonder if other people felt like this, too. Are there other real-life sidekicks? And what kind of a storyline do we get?
     When we look at some amazing fictional stories, take the "Harry Potter" series for instance, many times the sidekick becomes the favorite. (Ron Weasley....he's the best, hands down). However, his story never gets the attention and detail that Harry's does. So what do we deserve as sidekicks? Why should we get anything less, just because we're more loyal friends? I say, we embrace our roles and perform them to the fullest...and then proceed to go outside the lines of typical "sidekick." Embrace the fact that people like you and can rely on you, that's what a good friend is! But when it comes to your own life, don't take a backseat: make it about you! Don't settle because you're the main character and you deserve the best too. Take charge of your own journey, make your own plot. In short, to your friends, they may see you as the sidekick, but your life and your dreams and achieving them is just as important as theirs. Grow to be the main character of your life story.

Peace and love,
Emmy


Joey Richter/Ron Weasley's transformation in this song....exactly what I'm talking about. Spot on!
                                

Find a Soulmate Now!

Hello Bloggers!


So, in being in winter break mode still, I've been watching a lot of t.v. recently (ps- many of my blogs are going to be television based, just a warning). Anyway, having been in a high school going  into college relationship for the past year and a half, my boyfriend and I have often gotten compared to many notorious television couples. However, I recently realized that all of these long-term high school relationships turn out to be pairs of soul mates that ultimately end up getting married at the end of their series and living happily ever after. From Lily and Marshall from How I Met Your Mother, who met their first week of college, to Zack and Kelly from Saved by the Bell and Corey and Topanga from Boy Meets World, who dated throughout high school and college, to Donna and David from the early years of Beverly Hills 90210. Everywhere we turn, we are bombarded with the idea that the person that you stay with for more than a year in your teenage years is the person that you belong with.

So my question is this: What if you don't find your soul mate....or anyone, for that matter...during your teenage years? Will our "forever alone" tweets actually be accurate if we don't make an extremely meaningful connection with someone in our teenage years?

Each of these shows follows a pattern: The couple has known each other for a while, get together, are together for a very long time (or a minimum of one year ranging to like 10 years), they break up, then whether it be 2 years or 2 weeks later, realize that they always belong with that original person and marry them. This puts a crazy amount of pressure on young relationships. These pressures cause us to freak out, making us young girls scrutinize any long (ish) term relationships this early on in life because they very well could be how we end up spending the rest of our lives.

Before we freak out any further from this crazy amount of pressure, I do have an idea: there are some people in the world who are meant to be together, even though they are introduced so early in life. Yes, it can be true. It is said that 90% of people meet their future spouse by the time they are 17 years old. But guess what: maybe that's why the divorce rate is so high! Everyone freaks out about being single, especially in high school and not having anyone significant cross our paths by the time we go off to college: yeah, we feel like pathetic loners. That also means that you still have an exciting and more mature journey ahead of you until you find that special someone. In looking at all the couples, we can't forget about the Ted Mosby's or Carrie Bradshaw's of the world who look for their soul mates long into their adult lives. In fact, most story lines are more detailed and interesting when focusing on these types of independent characters! Not having a cute story of being high school sweethearts or knowing who you were going to marry from the time you were 12 doesn't make your love story less valuable, it just makes it more open ended. You don't have to return to an old flame for that final surge of happiness, just find one that's completely new and know what your soul mate is as soon as it comes along because you've waited for it. Maybe, just maybe, your soul mate will come along when you are ready for it to, not when all of these story lines tell you it should.

So everyone, just remember this much: You have to find your soul mate on your own terms. Don't let anything else determine what it is you "need" to find and when, just have faith that when you're ready, it'll happen. Don't lose faith in yourself, what you want, or what you deserve.

Lots of Love
Emily

Ps- Please leave comments about what problems/questions you want me to address in any future blogs! It would be greatly appreciated!

Intro- Do you love "Sex in the City?"

Hello Bloggers!

I don't know about you, but I've always wanted to be Carrie Bradshaw from "Sex in the City" and since I know minimal people are going to read my blogs anyway, I'm going to use this as an opportunity to fulfill that dream!

I hope to have some great insights on fashion, all types of friendships, family connections, relationships, tips....anything really! So feel free to leave comments or contact me about what you would like to see me write about next! Feedback is also strongly encouraged! I want to know what it is you guys want to read about. I want this blog to be about me connecting with other people, whereas my other blog is about me connecting with myself. See? Makes sense...well, in my head anyway.

I will write my first "real" blog tomorrow (hopefully), but for now, I leave you with this: I know I'm not really Carrie Bradshaw, or Gossip Girl or Jenna Marbles (though I really would like to be those people) but I hope to find my own definition of what kind of writer I am. So if anyone can help me by giving me a topic they want me to write about, it would be greatly appreciated!:)

Lots of Love!
Emily